Counseling Connections

Hopeless & Suicide

2011-09-05T21:19:00.001-04:00

Ever feel like you are the only one who is sad in a world of happy people? Everyone experiences stress, sadness and anxiety from time to time – it's part of life. Even Charlie Brown would hold his head and say "good grief" and pay a nickel a week for therapy sessions from a little girl in a booth on her front lawn. Charlie Brown’s situation may have been a source of our entertainment for over 50 years, but depression is one of the most common and serious issues in our society.

These feelings often happen when you lose a job, children move away from home, during divorce, with a death in the family, or during retirement. But when changes in mood and behavior interfere with one’s ability to work, sleep, eat, and enjoy pleasurable activities, it could be a sign of depression. National Depression Screening Day (NDSD) October 6^th, gives people the opportunity to take a free, anonymous questionnaire assessing their risk for mood and anxiety disorders and provides referral information for treatment. Call the Community Christian Counseling Center (561)622-5423 to set up a free confidential assessment and referral. Or you could even visit www.HelpYourSelfHelpOthers.org to take a screening online today or go to their Facebook page located at: http://www.facebook.com/HelpYourselfHelpOthers?sk=wall .

The common misconception about depression is that it's not a serious issue. The word "depression" is sometimes used too loosely; it's used to describe a sad feeling in response to disappointment, loss, stress, etc. These are common situations, and a feeling of sadness is natural but depression can be more serious than that. It's a physical condition that can control your everyday life if you ignore the signs and don't seek help.

You may be depressed if you feel hopeless or worthless or are losing interest in activities you used to enjoy. Maybe you've lost your appetite or you're having difficulty sleeping. You may have problems concentrating, may not have very much energy or perhaps find yourself constantly irritated by things that never used to upset you. You may have had thoughts that life isn't worth living and you might even have thought about how you would end it. If this is the case, you should seek help immediately.

If you, or someone you know, is thinking about SUICIDE, there is help! The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK is available 24 hours a day, every day and is available to anyone. Family, friends and co-workers can be supportive and many companies have employee assistance programs for their employees free of charge. Talk to a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, to share your struggles and feelings. If you think someone is suicidal, do not leave them alone. Take them to the closest hospital emergency room or call 911 to keep them safe.

7th Annual Samaritan Golf Classic

2011-09-05T21:16:00.003-04:00

The Community Christian Counseling Center, a non-profit organization, is hosting our 7^th Annual Samaritan Golf Classic on Saturday, November 5,2011 at the Ironhorse Country Club. There are 3 parts to this event:

**Golf Tournament – November 5, 2011 – 11:30am

**Dinner and Auction Event – November 5, 2011 – 5:30pm

**Online Charity Auction – October 21 – November 4, 2011

www.biddingforgood.com/samaritangolfclassic

Great items available at Deep Discounts!

The Samaritan Golf Classic was established to assist people in need of professional counseling that otherwise could not afford it. Our services are available on a sliding fee scale that drops below the cost of providing the services. We even work with those who cannot afford the minimum fee on that scale. Historically those who have utilized these scholarship funds have been women in distress and children in crisis. But recently we have utilized those funds to assist the unemployed and the uninsured that are living on unsustainable income as well.

We are the only agency in Palm Beach County that provides scholarship funds for those in need below the level of a sliding fee scale. We do believe clients should participate in payment for their services, so each client pays something. Your support of this very important fundraiser will help make it possible for us to continue to provide these desperately needed services!

National Recovery Month - September

2011-09-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

"Prevention Works, Treatment is Effective, People Recover"

Addiction

No one is destined for addiction, but many are predisposed by a genetic component which is also influenced by their environment. Life experiences combined with a particular genetic make-up, and perhaps a certain level of trauma, like physical abuse, emotional neglect, etc. can put people at risk. The younger a person is when they start a compulsive behavior (drinking, drugging, pill popping, gambling, etc.) the more likely it will result in an addiction.

Even sexual addiction can be included in this, because chemicals are released in the brain which provide a “high,” thus the addiction is repeated to get that high again and eventually an addiction is formed. Prescription medication addiction is perhaps the leading substance abuse issue in south Florida today. Pills are simple, easily accessible, and all you have to do is swallow them. And an addiction is formed rather quickly. But addiction doesn’t have to be the final word.

Recovery

Recovery works! But it is a life-long process. People in recovery can expect improved relationships, better physical and mental well being and new found abilities to cope with stress in a healthier manner. Treatment and recovery require hard work, dedication and a willingness to change. But the rewards are worth it.

If you are struggling with a substance or behavior that you are beginning to wonder if it is an addiction (or you already know it is) please call the Community Christian Counseling Center for a free confidential assessment and referral (561) 622-5423.

Behavior & Your 6-year-old Attitude

2011-06-23T22:15:00.000-04:00

Does your 6 year old have an attitude? Have you ever heard of the Terrible 6's? Not frequently written about but commonly experienced behavior is the six year old and their smart alec attitude. This behavior emerges anywhere from kindergarten to 1st grade and lasts for 1-2 years. It is characterized by a "know it all" attitude, high self esteem, talking back to adults and the belief that they can do anything.

This stage of social emotional development occurs because of the tremendous growth in their abilities at this age. They are feeling very intelligent from the learning they are doing in school and the attention they receive from their teachers and other adults. They are reading, spelling and learning a lot about the world around them. They feel smart and therefore, act smart.

This stage is not really a negative time but parents do have to get a handle on the know it all attitude and the talking back. It is important to be consistent with discipline at this stage and set clear guidelines about unacceptable behavior. Your child will quickly learn that they will receive more positive attention from you if they are respectful of you and others.

Is it Possible to Have a Peaceful Summer with the Children out of School?

2011-06-12T23:36:00.000-04:00

Is it possible to have a peaceful summer with your children out of school? It is entirely possible to deal with their boredom, their fighting with siblings and your overreactions and getting on each other’s nerves by reading the following tips.

First, realize that when your children are bored and fight with each other that this is an activity and is designed to get your attention! This keeps them connected to you even though it is through the use of negative attention. You can influence them to argue less by structuring things more, giving them time away from each other and by ignoring their usual bickering with each other. Children can begin to solve their own problems if you don’t take sides and stay out of their arguments.

Second, control your own emotions before you respond to your children by giving yourself time to pause and think about what is going on. If your child is yelling at you, you don’t need to respond just because they are yelling. You have a choice on how you will respond. Ask a question instead and suggest you talk about it later when everyone is calmed down. Remember that nothing good will usually come out of a conversation when all parties are upset and arguing.

Lastly, pretend you are up in the sky looking down on the situation and try to view things from another perspective. Look at how family members are reacting to one another and decide to make a change in yourself. By making a change in yourself, you can have a positive effect on other family member’s behavior, effectively improving your home environment. You have the power to influence others with the way you behave.

Keep these things in mind and your summer will go more smoothly this year!

We Are Our Memories

2011-06-12T16:35:00.000-04:00

If we are our memoires, then it seems to be helpful for us to consider, "What have I chosen to remember and why?" As you think about what you focus your attention on, I would encourage you to ponder these things:

We Are Prone to Remember Our Failures

Do you realize that? We are notorious for marking the failures in our lives. It seems that successes are just that—successes. When you have a success there's really nothing more to say. Successes are something to be moved on from because we did it right. Now it's on to the next thing. Failures however, are the stuff of scrutiny. We have to pick it apart and figure out what we did wrong. As an added measure, we often beat ourselves up. We admonish ourselves for our stupidity or lack of insight or impulsive behaviors or whatever it was that got us there and screwed things up. And so we often remember our failures while our successes drift into the foggy backwaters of our minds.

We Are Prone to Focus on What We Fear

We also tend to remember our failures out of fear of repeating them. They stand as markers of dread, telling us that we better not do it again or reminding us of the consequences of our own stupidity. They keep us from wandering back into places where we're likely to be hurt again. They likewise keep us from being hurt by others, reminding us of what people did to us and how they did it. Our memories become the hazard signs strewn across the landscape of our lives and our histories, telling us of all the places we can't go; leaving our lives full of places we can't venture into verses being full of places sweet with success. Our lives become defined not by the places where we can sit and savor victories, but by the places we must avoid.

We become Defined by What We Remember

Over time, the memories that we focus on become the things that define us. We become the sum total of these reflections, pulling them together to create some sort of mosaic that says, "This is what I am, this is what identifies and defines me." We can end up building our value, our worth, our self-esteem and the overall assessment of ourselves on an inventorying of our fears and failures. Our confidence wanes. Our sense of self is deflated or destroyed altogether. We question ourselves constantly. An ability to seize our strengths vanishes as we don't see them in order to seize them. And we end up languishing, being immersed in a toxic blend of hopelessness and mediocrity.

Re-visit Your Memories

It may be time to revisit your past. Revisiting is not about reinventing or rewriting our history as historical revisionists are so prone to do. Rather, it's a re-evaluation. You may want to de-emphasize your fears and failure and highlight your successes and achievements, despite how small they may sometimes seem. Celebrate your victories, even if the victory was merely to survive. Given what you have had to face to survive may well be a victory. Acknowledge your strengths and the successes that they brought you. There are more successes back in your history than you likely realize. Find them. Set a memorial over them. Celebrate them. Allow them to draw you back to something you should not forget; something that made you what you are. If you do, your life and your view of yourself will change in ways most remarkable.

Secrets to Becoming and Staying Motivated

2011-06-07T23:37:00.000-04:00

You want and need motivation to be successful but how do you become and stay motivated? What is your reason for being motivated? Knowing the answers to these questions is the key to mastering the art of motivation and in optimizing your personal use of it.

Everyone has motivation for something in their life. It is just a matter of quantity and quality. Those that learn to stimulate their inner motivation and are successful:

- Are clear with specific goals they want to achieve
- Use failure as opportunities for learning & improvement
- Put goals in writing with deadlines & commit to accomplishing
    them
- Have learned how to control stress & replace it with something
    positive
- Are patient & persistent
- Have learned how to be comfortable in the uncomfortable
    silence & in their own thoughts
- Are organized & know where they should spend their valuable
    time

You must value the things you are striving for and have sufficient enough reasons to achieve them in order to be motivated to act. If results you are striving for are highly valued, you will work as hard as is needed to accomplish these goals. This is a fact of human behavior. Likewise, if you want to motivate others, you must be motivated yourself and work just as hard or harder than you expect from others. You must respect others and value their opinion. Your mood is also important and will impact everyone you come in contact with. Stretch yourself through learning from others and implementing new ideas. Growth & motivation come from learning new perspectives for old comfortable topics. Live and teach motivation by example and those that are watching will learn these same qualities.

Embracing Change to Reach your Fullest Potential

2011-06-07T23:30:00.000-04:00

Most people do not like change. Change causes feelings of uneasiness and unfamiliarity. It causes people to step out of their comfort zone and upsets routine. Most routine decisions are made on the subconscious level and are what we call habits. Even if what we are doing is not working, we continue to make familiar decisions over and over. This familiarity prevents anxiety caused by the unknown as our psyche tries to keep things in familiar territory. It's just human nature.

Gradual change is the most comfortable because it allows us time to get used to something new and is accomplished in little steps. Even if change is welcome, it is still stressful. We can learn to become comfortable with change. To do so, we must challenge ourselves to be open to change but this is difficult to accomplish alone. The mind plays tricks on us allowing us to put "change" under the bed, thereby ignoring it. A counselor can help you initiate change in your life.

The first step towards change is identifying what it is you want to change. A counselor can look for areas of discrepancy in thinking patterns and challenge the client with them. We often cannot see these discrepancies because our own hidden agendas are at work. To have the best results with change, a person needs to design their own story and take ownership of it. Change also requires new experiences in order to give up old behaviors. Successful change is also accomplished in small steps, most successfully, with the help of a professional counselor

Start approaching change as a welcome companion. Embrace it and develop yourself to your fullest potential!

Depression in Teenagers

2010-08-22T13:46:00.000-04:00

Depression in teens is more common than you might imagine. Girls experience depression more often than boys and it is estimated that one in five teens suffer from depression. Symptoms of depression in teens can be different than in adults. Adolescents typically act out their feelings rather than talk about them. They have not developed the ability to contemplate and discuss what is happening inside themselves. Therefore, they may continue socializing with friends, yet can become more cranky, confusing parents with normal teenage behavior. Teens can be angry, oppositional and sleep more and they may experiment with cigarettes, alcohol, drugs and sex. Well-adjusted teens do not seek out these risky behaviors as often as depressed teens do.

An effective way to prevent depression in teens is to get them involved in group activities at an early age. Sports, scouting and youth group activities are all great ways for teens to be socially involved. Depression in teens is treatable! Be sure to enlist the help of an experienced, highly trained counselor that is comfortable working with teens because success with your teen is dependent on their relationship and a good fit with the therapist. If you know of a teen that needs help, contact www.CCCCpb.org

Discipline, Strong Willed Children & Temper Tantrums

2010-08-12T21:55:00.000-04:00

There are so many behavior programs available in the market today. Most of them are very similar and work on reward and punishment principles. But what happens when you have a child that “marches to a different drummer?” What about the child that says they don’t care when everything is taken from them? This type of child operates on different principles than most other children and usually, will not do well with reward & punishment techniques.

One program that I have found extremely useful is “Smart Parenting” by Larry Koenig. The program is based on the child being in control of their own actions by using a simple chart with either a daily program or a weekly program. I recommend the weekly program for children over 10 years old and the daily program for the younger children and for those with Attention Deficit Disorder. The daily chart has nine boxes on it. The first three boxes are left blank and then the remaining boxes are filled with something that can be taken away from the child. This “something” must be something that will be able to follow through with.

You begin the program by identifying 3-5 rules you want your child to follow. Write these down in basic understandable words and post on the refrigerator. Review these rules with your child and explain to them that each time they break one of these rules, a “X” will be placed on their chart. There are three “free” boxes before the child has a consequence so there is ample warning for them. When the child breaks one of the rules, put an X on their chart in the first available box and tell them that they have just earned one X on their chart. Do the same with #2 and #3. Initially, your child will test you to see if you will follow through. Some children have been known to go through the entire chart losing all their privileges in one day. Persevere because you are sending a message that when you break the rules there is a consequence. Only work on 3-5 rules initially because you will be more successful but make sure that these are rules that you can be consistent with. The privileges that are lost are available the next day and the entire process is repeated. Be sure to rotate the privileges into different boxes each day so that different things will be lost each day. This process is similar with the weekly chart but has 7-10 boxes with privileges in them and these are lost until the beginning of the following week. The weekly plan also has three free boxes and there should be 5-10 rules that are clear, easily observed and ones that you can be consistent with.

This is an incredibly easy program. The most important things to remember are:

* be consistent, be consistent, be consistent!
* write clear, easily understandable & observable rules for behavior
* use privileges that mean something to the child
* don’t get discouraged if your child reacts to losing a privilege with “So, I don’t care about that anyway!” This is just a tactic and they really do care but are not going to let you know that.
* I recommend that you put all the children in the house on this program for consistency, even if you don’t think they need it. In the long run, it will be easier for you and those that don’t need it will succeed anyway.
* privileges do not have to be something physical…they can be a trip to the park that you were going to take and it was something you didn’t really want to do anyway, a play date, etc.
* Be careful about using privileges that affect other members in the household such as television time. Don’t use tv on your child’s chart unless you can enforce it completely!

The effects of this program on you and your child can be tremendous. You become empowered and the emotion is taken out of disciplining your child. In addition, your child is in complete control of keeping their privileges or losing them. Try this behavior program and then let me know how you are doing!

Welcome to Counseling Connections!

2010-08-03T22:25:00.000-04:00

Are you searching for more possibilities? A new direction in your life? The key to getting the most out of the path you are on? You've come to the right place. We love working with people like you. We have been able to support hundreds of clients as they rediscover themselves and their life situations as they stand up for what they believe and the direction they want their lives to take towards living a more peaceful gratifying life.

Interested in seeing yourself in new ways? Changing the direction of your life? Discovering deeper meaning in your life? Restructuring your fears and obstacles? Opening yourself up to new possibilities?

We would like to walk alongside you in your journey. Come to this place for informative topics, resources and thought provoking articles. We're glad you're here with us!